First, trust me when I tell you that thirteen is too young for sex. I waited considerably longer than that and was still disappointed in it for a long, long time. It isn't going to be any good until you're older anyway, so wait.
If your boyfriend hits you, attempts to rape you, says nasty things about you, or otherwise threatens or makes your life miserable, YOU DON'T WANT HIM. He is not the "love of your life" and he won't change for you. Tell your father and let him deal with the scumsucker. Your dad will be thrilled to run off a bad boyfriend for you.
If you ever end up pregnant, suicide is not the answer. Go look at the pictures of my darling baby boy and the happy smiles on our faces. You can get through it too and one day you will be happier than you suspect right now.
As a matter of fact, pregnant or not, horrible boyfriend or not, life-threatening depression or not, your life is going to be so much better ten and twenty years from now that you will not take all the money in the world at that time to go back and repeat the teenage years you're living right now.
Can't get rid of the depression or the lingering feeling that you have no idea who you are or who you want to be? All of us who are older have been there. It gets better. In the meantime, take your education seriously. Learn all you can learn and read all the books you can get your hands on. One day you will not have enough time to either learn or read all that interests you. Sign up for a martial arts class and learn how to kick bad-boy butt. This will see you well through college and give your self-esteem quite a boost too. Stop trying to attract the attention of any random male and focus on getting to know the ones who really interest YOU.
Most of all just get through the next few years and try to hang on to your sense of humor. You'll come out okay on the other side of twenty.
Oh, and don't wear blue eyeshadow. You definitely will regret that later.
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